Future Thoughts Part Two

It’s been a bit of a struggle to work out what to write to you all this time. My usual fairly-cheery-everything-is-great blogspeak wasn’t coming when I sat down in front of my laptop, and I was getting frustrated and deleting every attempt I made.

While the world isn’t crumbling around me, and life goes on as it has been for the last seven-eight months, I find myself stuck at a bit of a crisis point. As much as I would wish for this year to last forever (although now that I think about it, there are some elements of this year I wouldn’t want to last forever – the seeming perpetual disgusting state of the kitchen in the intern house, for example!), I know it can’t.

I wrote last time about the ideas I’d been having for what comes next after the internship finishes, and since then, I’ve definitely been challenged on this. I was 99% certain in my head about what I was going to do, and things seemed to be falling into place quite neatly – a place to live, people with good connections giving me suggestions, and intriguing conversations with some very wise people. Not so much anymore.

I came home at the beginning of my Easter break full of it, chattering away to my family about everything and about my plans, when I was served a healthy dose of reality. I’d said all along that I wanted to be where God wanted me, but was I being too focussed on staying in Cardiff and following through on all the ideas I’d had because it was the ‘safe’ option? What if God had other things planned for me and I was ignoring it all?

This isn’t to say that I haven’t brought this before God in my prayer times, because I have. But perhaps I’ve spent a little too long moaning and whining and asking for a big flashing arrow pointing down one road and one road only, saying in big letters ‘THIS WAY DEBORAH!’

As much as I wish it would, it’s not likely to happen, is it?

I thought that my worries and inclination to bury my head in the sand over my future were behind me, and that I was capable of fully trusting God with it, but I find myself feeling incredibly lost and scared and worried and wanting it all to just disappear. It’s all very well to say that I trust God with my future, and to say that when everything seems like it’s falling into place, but the minute that gets stirred up and turned on its head? Not so easy.

I find myself torn between just ploughing ahead with my plans, or hiding away from it all. I so want to make the right decision and be in the right place, but I feel utterly confused and lost. Time is running out, and I want my plans for when the internship ends to be in place as soon as possible, yet at the moment, I feel like I’m stuck in a maze, continually walking into dead ends and never finding the way out.

I’m trying (and occasionally failing, as we humans do) to hold fast to God’s promise:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Pray for me, please, that I continue to seek God’s will for my life above all else, and that I think realistically and practically about what comes next. Pray for wisdom, when it comes to making decisions; and peace once I’ve begun to make those all-important decisions.

I head back to Cardiff tomorrow afternoon for the start of my final term on the internship. All of us interns are being thrown headlong into this intense, jam-packed, final term, and there are quite a few exciting prospects lurking ahead. In May, we have the Ignite Hope weekend – we will be leading the youth of the Church in serving the local community and then meeting up with the other youth groups in Cardiff for immense worship session. The PSE sessions in school are continuing – I have a few more dates for Snakes and Ladders in my diary, and more for Borderline Alcoholic, as well as rehearsal dates in June for Wholehearted (self-esteem for year 9 girls). This final term already looks immensely busy, and I’m looking forward to it (though with wide-eyed nervousness and no small amount of wondering how on earth I’m going to cope...)

Thank you all so much for your continued support and prayers – I appreciate it so much.

Much love as always,

Debs xxx

www.goingpublic.org.uk

Future Thoughts

Hello all!  It’s been a while since I’ve let you all know how things are going over here in Cardiff, so while I’ve got a bit of time spare, I thought I’d scribble (or type) this down for you all!

I realised the other day that I am over halfway through the internship now and that was quite a scary thought if I’m honest.  It has been so easy to just get stuck into everything and not think or worry about what comes next. Occasionally, thoughts of the future creep in, but for the most part I am so involved in everything that I’m doing that I don’t really have time to contemplate what July will bring when we finally get there.

But over the last few weeks or so, thoughts about what I am going to do with myself come summer have been lurking in the back of my mind.  Thinking about my future has always been a bit of a sticking point for me – I’m likely to either want to bury my head in the sand (something which frustrated my parents no end!) and ignore it completely, or come up with some ridiculously fantastical vision of a future which would realistically be virtually impossible!  Yet I’ve been finding recently that these thoughts aren’t the grand plans I would have come up with a year ago, nor do I have the desire to run away from it all.  Instead they have been just small wonderings – surprisingly realistic, given my imagination – and things that could potentially have some amount of longevity in them.

Around the time that I started thinking about all this, and all the secondary thoughts about a place to live, etc were starting to come up, one of the other interns mentioned that her and her flatmates were going to be looking for a new place to live and asked if I wanted to join them. I was blown away – things just seemed to be falling into place (to a certain extent)!

But, the more I thought about it, the more I came to realise that yes, these opportunities and plans were coming up, but I needed to continue to seek God’s will above all else for my life – and that is what I want more than anything for the end of this year.  I want to be where God wants me to be, and I want to be doing His work, in order to see His Kingdom grow.  I want to be able to put into practise all the things I have been learning here, and I want to be able to live in the community I’m working in, getting to know them and praying for them and seeing the Father change their lives.

I don’t have a career plan.  I’m not one of these career-oriented women who set themselves five year/ten year goals to achieve.  I could be perfectly happy to only ever earn enough money to live on and then spend my spare time working in the community and being a ‘little Jesus’ to those I see.  I just want to see people know God – to know that He loves them, and to know that He wants relationship with them, and that there is grace and mercy and salvation if they just come to Him.

I think I might be ranting a little.

This week at Glenwood is prayer and fasting week – a week to rest in the Lord and seek Him, praying into the community and all the different things the church is part of.  The main hall in the building has been turned into a prayer pathway, with lots of prayer stations to pause at and just dwell in the presence of God.  So far this week, I have been taking the time to allow God to restore and refresh me, in the midst of all the busyness of my life and all the different things I am involved in.

I had a bit of a ‘down’ week a couple of weeks ago – all I wanted to do was just hide in my room and just sleep.  I even ended the week getting really frustrated with my housemates for the state of the kitchen (when I really could have just cleaned it up myself).  I really was not proud of myself that week, but I am so glad for God’s grace and His mercy, and glad that even when I am weak and failing in the things that I do and struggling with so many different things, He is there to pick me up, dust me off and push me forwards once more, holding me up as I go.

God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling. (Psalm 46: 1-3)

Though things sometimes seem ridiculously tough and I feel like I’m wading through treacle, it doesn’t matter, because I have God on my side, and if I turn to Him, and allow Him to be my refuge and allow Him to be strong when I feel so, so weak, I have nothing to fear, nor any reason to worry.

So, as I did around this time last year (when I was preparing for my interview with Going Public!), I’m placing my future in God’s hands and resting in His arms.

One final thing... Wales for the grandslam!

Much love and hugs,

Debs xxx

www.goingpublic.org.uk

Hope and Peace in the Midst of Chaos

I feel like I have been in Cardiff for an age – and I’m not talking about since September. It feels like it has been so long since Christmas, and time just doesn’t seem to be slowing down. It is full steam ahead here in Wales, and all of us interns have been on the go non-stop (that’s what it feels like, at least. It’s not like that really.)

Since I last posted, I have been working my socks off in my different ministries, and we’ve been quite busy with a few extra bits and pieces as well. A couple of Saturdays ago, all of us interns trekked up to Treorchy (in the Valleys, about an hour away from Cardiff) for a Creative Arts Day for teens in the local church there.

Now, the previous night had been the G-Pod sleepover (G-Pod is the kids’ club for 7-11s) and myself and one of the other interns had been involved in that. It had been a manic evening that seemed to go on and on, especially when you consider that on a normal Wednesday, G-Pod only lasts 90 minutes! We played games of all sorts, had the kids doing challenges in their teams, had a midnight feast and finally got them all bedded down in the small hall at about one am. Me and Nicola (the other intern) had first shift watching the kids and then we went to bed – we didn’t manage to get to sleep until sometime around 2.30, and then had to be up around 4 hours later in order to get the kids up and breakfasted. So it was a marathon night.

After clear up the following morning, we were picked up by another intern, Nate, and shot off to Treorchy immediately. So, bearing in mind that we were absolutely dog tired (though well caffeinated!) you’d have thought it would have been extremely difficult to keep going for the entire day.

It wasn’t nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. While there were moments where I was flagging just a little, God has really blessed us all. We had an absolutely amazing day up in Treorchy, and the teens that came for the day absolutely threw themselves into it and were so fantastically creative. They really shone in our evening performance – ‘Treorchy’s Got Talent’ – and absolutely loved the opportunity to show off what they’d worked on during the day.

That’s not even the most amazing part. God is so faithful and wonderful, and His love for these kids really shone through. Our theme for the day was ‘you are God’s most treasured possession’, and all the different creative exercises (dance, writing, music, drama) all centred around this theme. And it really struck home to a lot of them. At the end of the evening, after they’d performed for parents/friends etc., two of the boys decided that they wanted to follow Jesus. In those few hours that Saturday, they’d caught a glimpse of God – just a small amount of how much He loves them – but it was enough. And to hear that story in the week after, when the PSE team went back to Treorchy to present Borderline Alcoholic to another year group, was simply amazing. God is so good.

The church in Treorchy we were working with are now looking after the two boys, and making sure that they are getting the support they need.

I’m still completely blown away by how incredibly amazing God is even now, when I think about what happened that day.

Thank you all for your prayers of support and love after my last post! Since then we’ve done eight performances of Borderline Alcoholic (four times on two separate days, to two separate year groups) and while there were maybe a few little things here or there that could be improved on, it went really well, and the kids responded brilliantly to it.

On Monday this week, we began rehearsals for the second PSE production that I’m involved in. This one is called Snakes and Ladders and focuses on mental health and depression – a very important topic that is all too often ignored. We’ve had two days of rehearsals so far (Monday and today) and it is going really well – we are ahead of schedule and we’re all pretty confident with our lines already which is fantastic progress. Rehearsals continue next week, where we’re going to work more on character development. I’ve been told that my focus for next week is to make my character (the personification of Depression) and my character’s intentions more evil. Not something that comes naturally to me – I’m sure you’d agree with me on that one – so I know it will be a lot of hard work.

Please, please pray for me and the team as we continue with rehearsals next week, as this play specifically is quite difficult emotionally and physically for all involved. It’s not funny, like Borderline is, but is deadly serious and needs to be done well in order for the message – that there are ways of coping/dealing with depression; that there is always hope – to be effective. Please pray for our minds and hearts to be protected, and that God will give us rest and peace when we desperately need it.

Thank you so much for your continued love, prayers and support for me!

A small encouragement – I know I’ve been feeling ridiculously busy and slightly stressed out lately, and maybe some of you are as well, but I’ve been learning recently to never underestimate the importance of just resting in God and allowing Him to take the burden. When I give it to Him and allow His peace to fill me, I know that I can find true rest and respite from the busy, hectic goings on around me. I don’t do it nearly as often as I should, but I’m learning.

Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)

Take time to rest in Him – that’s what I’m doing tomorrow! (And hopefully more often than I have been...)

Love and blessings from cold and wet Cardiff (no snow here!),

Debs xxx

www.goingpublic.org.uk

Kicking Things Up a Notch

Well. I have been back in (sunny/cold/wet – take your pick) Cardiff for almost two weeks now, and it has been strangely busy getting back into all my different ministries. Christmas break was wonderful – I really was quite tired and in need of a rest – and it was great to see my family and a good few of you at the good ol’ Highway New Year’s Eve party.

But being back here has reminded me of how much I love what I’m doing at the moment. Sure, there are little things here and there which frustrate me daily (the cleanliness of the house, people being late – just my general pedantic nature) but what I’m doing here, and what I’m learning here is just beyond anything I ever would have thought I’d learn.

There have been a few things switched around for this second term – I’m no longer part of the Love a Granny ministry (which I was quite upset about to begin with) and I’m instead part of the SprogZ team. SprogZ is basically 0s-5s for an hour and a half during the week, where the kids come with their parents and play. We have a bouncy castle, soft play, slides, trampolines, etc. All the things littlies just get stuck into and go crazy over. The parents come and have tea or coffee and chat and it is a really lovely atmosphere (even with the nursery rhymes playing in the background on a continual loop). The worst bit, though, is tidying up afterwards. Anybody ever tried to put a bouncy castle away when there are only 2 or 3 people there to do it?

(Fortunately, they don’t want the bouncy castle next week! Hurrah!)

Anyway, enough of my griping. I was told before Christmas by another of the interns that I seem to complain cheerfully (which seems a little like an oxymoron- surely complaining isn’t cheerful at all?) and enjoy doing so. I’m not sure I like that, so I’m going to try to complain less.

Speaking of my fellow interns – we have another two joining us this term! Tom, from Bridgend, joined us at the end of last week, and Aspyn, from Florida, will be arriving at the end of the month. Our intern house is getting fairly busy now! While there are only room for six people to sleep in the house, we effectively have eight people living here (soon to be nine, no doubt!) but it is absolutely fantastic. As I’m writing this, my housemate Rhi and I are having a quick marvel at how brilliant it is that our friends (intern and non-intern) just feel as though they can come and be in our house. Last night we were watching a film, and several of our friends just turned up and joined in. It was great. I really feel as though I am making friendships for life here.

(I’m going to take this moment to apologise for how scattered my thoughts are as I’m writing this. A lot has happened and occurred to me in the last two weeks alone that I want to share with you all and I’m trying – in vain – to organise it just a little...!)

Everything has kicked up a notch now. In each of our respective ministries we are being given a little more responsibility – opportunities to lead and to stretch us and bring us out of the nice, comfortable boxes we climbed into last term. I’m looking forward to this challenge, but I’m possibly a little petrified too. I’ve never really thought I was much of a leader, but I find I’m having to face up to the possibility that God may just be poking me in that direction (after all, why I am here in Cardiff if not to learn what God wants me to?)

A perfect example is yesterday afternoon’s session of Youth Band. I love Youth Band to pieces – I really do. They’re all amazingly talented young people, with so much potential, and a heart for worship just waiting to explode out. Recently, Youth Band has grown so that we now can’t all really fit on the stage, so John – who leads Youth Band – decided we were going to split it in two. Now, it divides nicely (age-wise) down the middle, and John was going to take the younger ones for the session in the scout hut, while Sam (one of last year’s interns who still helps out) and I took the older ones for the session in the main hall. It got to 4.30 yesterday afternoon, and all of the youth were there, and John was explaining the divide to them when my phone buzzes in my pocket.

It was Sam. On placement in school, the text read, won’t be there for the next few weeks.

At this point, my mind staged a minor meltdown. I was going to have to lead the session with the older youth all on my own. Aaargh!

I had it planned out – I knew the songs we were going to be doing, and knew how the session normally ran etc., but having to do it all on my own?! I didn’t feel prepared in the slightest.

But! God is faithful! Really faithful. The session went really well, and throughout it all, I could feel God’s presence so clearly in the room as these wonderful young people worshipped and learned these new songs. I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to work with them. There were a few minor hiccups (one of the legs snapped off the bass drum, I had to hurriedly transpose one of the songs from G to A and transposition is not my thing) but none of that mattered. God’s faithfulness just really shone out to me yesterday, and now I’m really looking forward to taking a more active role in Youth Band and feel less worried about it all.

Talking of things kicking up a notch, our new module for Thursday morning training is going to be a challenge from all accounts. Last term we focussed on grounding ourselves in Biblical knowledge and understanding, seeing Jesus throughout the Bible. This term we are focussing on missional living – what it means to have Jesus right at the centre of our faith and how that works out in the way we live, the way church works, the way we see the church and the way we see others.

We’ve been given a book to read called ReJesus (by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch) and I would recommend everyone read this book. We’ve only gotten as far as the end of the first chapter during training, but I’ve already been challenged to take a look at my own life and think about whether Jesus really is at the centre of everything I do. Is He really at the centre of all of my ministries? Am I taking that five minutes before my ministries begin to make sure that He is at the centre? If Jesus is not at the centre of my life and everything I do, how can I hope to show Him to those I meet? Am I even showing others the real Jesus? The Jesus who was wild and radical and a revolutionary, not the Jesus who is so holy we can never even hope to get anywhere near Him, despite what He did for us?

Anyway, I’m starting to feel like I’m ranting a little. It’s just food for thought, and it has certainly been food for my thoughts over the last week. What I’ve mentioned is what I’ve taken from the book so far, but there is so much more within just the introduction and the first chapter. I would really, really recommend everyone to read it.

On a small side note – have you seen the video that’s circulating on facebook? Why I hate religion, but love Jesus, is what it’s called. It is fantastic, and ties in very well with what the book ReJesus talks about.

In other news, I have my first performance of Borderline Alcoholic coming up! Just a reminder – Borderline Alcoholic is the PSE drama about the dangers and effects of alcohol and we will be taking this production into secondary schools this term and next. We have an all day rehearsal on this coming Tuesday (17th Jan) and then on Wednesday (18th Jan) we are taking it into our first school, where we will do four performances in one day! Now, one performance is tiring enough (it is especially emotionally tiring), but four? I’m slightly worried about that aspect of it, even though I’m quite excited!

So, sneaky prayer request number one: please pray for me and the team this week as we rehearse on Tuesday (that we remember everything well despite it being nearly three months since we rehearsed it!) and then take it into school on Wednesday (that the young people take something away from it, that the performances go well, that we don’t get too tied). Ta v muchly!

In other PSE drama related news, I have been asked to be a part of one of their other productions. This one is called Snakes and Ladders and is focussed on mental health and depression and dispelling the myths surrounding them. In stark contrast to my part in Borderline, I am not playing the mum, but rather the villainous role of the personification of Depression. Rehearsals for this begin in February, and we’re taking it into schools at the end of February/beginning of March. I’ve never played a villain before, so I’m quite excited (though not sure if that’s a good thing or not...)

Here it comes... sneaky prayer request number two: please pray for me and the team as we prepare for rehearsals for Snakes (that I can learn my lines quickly so I’m ready for when we come together for rehearsals). Thanks!

Thank you all so much for your continuing support and prayers since September. I really am having a fantastic time here in Cardiff (though it is not always easy) and God is teaching me so much in everything that I am doing. I really appreciate the love and support of everyone back home and look forward to seeing you all whenever I next come back (Easter, I think...)

One last thing – Christmas trees are lethal, especially large ones found in churches. I still bear the scars of my adventure in taking them down last week... Still, it was relatively fun.

Love and blessings from Cardiff, as always,

Debs xxx

www.goingpublic.org.uk

A Cardiffian Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Things have been getting very Christmassy here in Cardiff for the last couple of weeks. This year seems to be the busiest Christmas I’ve had in years. Seriously. I’ve had what seems like a million and one things to try to remember in the last couple of weeks and in the next couple of weeks? We get a list of extra dates each month which is usually only half a page. This month? It was a page and a half. Most of the dates had my name against them too.

Recently, my busyness has been down to an essay and a presentation due on the same day (Thursday just gone). As part of our training days, we have a write one essay per term on what we’ve been studying as well as doing one or two presentations to the rest of the interns. The essay was alright, but what I most enjoyed was the presentation.

Each of us interns had to do two presentations on stories from the Bible- my first was on Cain and Abel what feels like a lifetime ago now. This week, I had the (perhaps somewhat dubious?) honour of being the last person to present on this module. My presentation topic? The Resurrection.

Now, waaaaay back when we first started, we were given the option of choosing the stories we wanted to present, and me being me, went and picked two of the hardest stories on the list. Why? Why? My reasoning was that I wanted a challenge. As the date for this presentation drew nearer though... panic began to set in.

Talking about the Resurrection is something that you cannot get wrong.

By all accounts I shouldn’t have found it so hard to work out what I wanted to do. The Resurrection is something any Christian surely should be able to talk about at ease – it is the very centre of our faith. Yet, trying to work out how to present it in a new creative way, that would speak to my audience, seemed ridiculously difficult. Add to that the fact that I’d never told the story of the Resurrection before... my panic mode kicked in and I put it off as long as I could.

I had various different ideas floating around in my head, but none of them seemed viable – or Deborah enough. I wanted to show to the others what the Resurrection meant to me, personally. That meant putting myself out there - something I'm not always good at.

At the start of last week, I finally made myself sit down and do some work. With my essay mostly in the bag (I’m quite a last minute person, to my shame), I focussed on my presentation. I read all four accounts of the Resurrection and the various encounters with Jesus that the disciples had, and I thought and prayed about what it meant to me, for me, personally and how I could get that across.

It was a journey of self-discovery to some degree, and looking back I am so glad I chose this topic for my presentation. This module on the Bible has given me a refreshing hunger for God’s Word – looking and seeing Jesus throughout the entirety of both the Old and New Testaments was something I’d not done before, but it is so amazing to see it all there, right from the start. God’s plan to reconcile man to himself. God’s plan to restore that broken relationship. All of it – both before and after the gospels – points to the cross; the death and resurrection of Jesus.

While it originally seemed really odd for me to be doing a presentation on the Resurrection so close to Christmas (Resurrection is Easter!), I realise now that it has given me a renewed understanding of the importance of Christmas and of how truly wonderful God’s gift to us was. God sent us Jesus, His only son, as part of His overarching plan to restore His relationship with us, to rescue us from sin and death and give us eternal life.

‘I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death.’ (Hosea 13:14)

Isn’t it beautiful?

Yesterday, I saw an advert on the side of a bus which said ‘this Christmas it’s all about you.’

I was horrified to say the least, and then overcome with an urge to graffiti the side of the bus. I was so saddened by what I saw. I had been so excited over that past few days about what Jesus had done for me – about what Christmas really meant – that I had partially forgotten what the rest of the world thought. I want – need – to share what Christmas really means, and who it really is about. And I need to keep a check on my own selfishness. We all do.

This coming week, I have an opportunity. I’m off into a few local primary schools to do Christmas lessons with a team from Glenwood. These lessons will teach the kids about the real meaning of Christmas, and I can only pray that they take something of God’s love for them away from those lessons and share it with their families.

In other news: I actually have a day off today. My Saturday has been blissfully quiet thus far, and I’m hoping it will continue into the evening. Oh, and Wales to win in the rugby!

One last thing – never work with animals, especially of the stuffed, puppet variety, and especially camels called Carlos.

Thank you all for your support and prayers, and I’m looking forward to seeing you all soon!

Love and blessings from Cardiff,

Debs xxx

www.goingpublic.org.uk

Time to Dwell

So, I’ve been sat here in the intern office for the last ten minutes or so, trying to figure out what to write. 

Everything I’ve thought of so far sounded ever so slightly pretentious to my mind, so I figured I’d just write, and see what came to mind – like the spontaneous prose writing session we had last week in afternoon training.

Everything here in Cardiff has become normal now.  My routine is set and I’m thoroughly enjoying everything I do (though on occasions, I want nothing more than to stay in bed, hide under the covers and sleeeeeeeep).

We reviewed our progress on the internship last week as a group, and it became startlingly clear that while all of us are incredibly hands on with what we’re doing, we aren’t necessarily finding time to simply be still and let the Holy Spirit work within us.  I know that has certainly been the case with me recently.

So, last Tuesday, we had a ‘prayer space’ in our house.  A place where we could just come and be; a place to let God minister to us, and a place to pray together and for each other.

Not sure why we hadn’t thought of doing that before, to be honest!

But it made me realise just how important it is to simply be still for a while.  To be still and know that He is God.

Being hands on is great, and doing all the clubs and ministries absolutely fantastic, but if we don’t take that little bit of time out to dwell in the presence of God and worship Him for how beautiful, how majestic, how glorious He is, then our hearts won’t be in everything we’re doing.  It just all becomes mechanical.

That is the last thing I want. 

I remember saying in my interview (waaaay back in March) that – as cheesy as it sounds – I would put 110% into everything I did this year, but if I am not taking that time out with God, and my work becomes mechanical, then that is not even 100%.

So, I am not going to stray far from the Most Holy Place.  I am going to take that time to dwell in His presence and adore Him for who He is and what He has done.

‘I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.  My soul shall make its boast in the Lord.’ (Psalm 34:1-3)

In other news: I have discovered I cannot play Cheat at all.  It’s probably a good thing, considering the game requires lying, but I still always lose and I like to win.  Grrrr…

Righty-ho chaps.  Back to the busy life of an intern.

Thanks for all your support and prayers!

Love and blessings from Cardiff ,

Debs xxx

www.goingpublic.org.uk

Half-Term is not a Holiday... apparently

For the last week, I have been ‘DebtheMum.’

This isn’t because I was voted ‘house mom’ by Jordyn (my American housemate) in the first week of living in Cardiff – I’ve actually been in rehearsals all week for a PSE production offered by Going Public.

I am exhausted.

I’ve not done drama since GCSE and I’d forgotten how much hard work it is. Cath and Dai (the writers/directors) have been working us really hard and I’d quite like just to crawl into my bed and sleep for a week to recover now... But! Back to normal timetable next week (see previous blog post for an idea of how a typical week goes...)

We only had this week as possible rehearsal time, so what I thought would be a quiet week (its half term and all the kids’ clubs I do have shut down for the week) has been mental. I am ridiculously glad of the extra hour of sleep I had last night (and feel so much better for it!) and for my afternoon off...

The production I’m part of is called Borderline Alcoholic, and is a look into both the effect of alcohol on people, and also how it can affect families of those who drink. The main character, Dylan, drinks heavily with his mates and his girlfriend, and has just lost his uncle to alcoholism. His mother (played by me) is trying to get him to stop drinking, as well as coping with the death of her brother. It is written fantastically well, and is quite hilarious in places – keeping a straight face is interesting sometimes... But the impact of the message is incredible, and is needed more and more in the culture of drinking and partying that young people are getting involved in at younger and younger ages.

For me, I had a hard time getting in touch with the emotions my character experiences, and it was particularly daunting for me at the start of the week when I met the other actors involved. All of them are either studying or have studied drama/acting at degree level; and then there was me, with my B at GCSE level Drama...

God has really been faithful though, and has helped me so much in this last week – not only with giving me the strength to endure the long hours and hard work, but also with my confidence. He blessed me with such fantastic people to work with. The others in the team were fantastic at encouraging me and building me up, giving me tips and helping me to learn my character better.

I play the only constantly serious character in the production (the others are involved in comedic ‘drunk’ scenes) and I found that quite a difficult burden at the start. I’ve done ridiculous amounts of comedy before (remember Rockclimbers? Working with Phil and Chris and Adam was never going to be serious) and only a few serious pieces here and there – and nothing to this standard – so I was a little out of my depth.

But! I managed it. We performed Borderline on Friday afternoon for the staff who were at Glenwood so they could review it and let us know if there was anything to improve on. Their comments were really uplifting and brilliant to hear, and I know now that when we eventually go into schools with Borderline it will have an impact in the lives of those who need it.

And that, really, is all we want.

It isn’t about us showing off our acting skills, or doing something stupid to entertain the kids while the teachers have a break. The message we are giving them is so important; the culture of drinking and partying is only growing. God has blessed us with these talents and gifts, and if we can use them to bring a little light to a dark place, then job well done, and all the glory to Him.

Our first date for going into schools is possibly 13th December. Insert cheeky prayer request here.
I’m looking forward to it, and hoping that I remember all my lines – I have more than a few, including whacking great monologue – and everything else that goes along with it! Mildly nervous? Of course. Maybe verging on the terrified side of things...? Possibly. But I do know that God’s got it under control.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

In other news: I now have a shiny new bass guitar that matches my hair, courtesy of Mummy and Daddy B, so I don’t have to borrow one anymore! Hurrah! I can play in my room to my heart’s content and irritate my housemates...

I am also attempting to teach myself guitar using a borrowed acoustic. I know five/six chords now and I have been reliably informed that if I have a capo, that’s pretty much all I need to play worship songs... The main reason for learning was so I could help more at Youth Band on Fridays. I often take the girls out for practising their harmonies and learning the songs, and we often sing in completely the wrong key, so if I can play at least the first chord of the song... That and I love music and I love to worship, so learning was something I had wanted to do for a while.

I’m potentially having to run Youth Band almost on my own this coming Friday, which involves set up (time to test that newly acquired knowledge of how the sound desk works), and organising the songs (easier) and running the sessions (though not leading the songs...phew!). So, insert second cheeky prayer request? Just that I don’t lose my head, really, and panic, complete with running around like a headless chicken.

One more thing: has anybody ever played chubby bunnies with mint-flavoured Aero Bubbles? Not the easiest thing in the world, but a couple of girls at the CU we run decided to pick me to do that particular challenge. I managed to fit an un-ladylike 23 in my mouth (they were slowly melting) and still didn’t win, because the two girls had their scores added together and beat me by one point! And then I had to do the teaching immediately after... not easy with melting minty chocolate in your mouth and fighting nausea, I can tell you!

Thanks for your support and prayers!

Love and blessings from Cardiff,

Debs xxx

www.goingpublic.org.uk

A Week in the Life...

Right.

I’ve been here for a month now, and I can safely say that I now understand what the word ‘work’ means! I have been beyond busy (or at least it feels like it!) in the past few weeks, and I’ve finally managed to sit down and write this. Phew!

I’m currently sat in the intern office (can you believe I’m in an office? That I have an office? I feel all grown up...) writing this to you, and trying to remember everything that’s happened over the last few weeks. Maybe a quick overview of a typical week would be a good idea?

A Week in the Life of a Going Public Intern

Sunday (because that’s when the week begins here in Cardiff)
At Church on Sunday, I will either be in the worship band (playing bass, though I still don’t have one of my own...) or I will be in with Noah’s Ark (2-5 year olds; they’re so cute!), which I will be leading on my own for the first time in a couple of weeks. Yikes!

In the evening, I help out with Hot Chocolate out in the Scout Hut behind the church building. Basically, it does what it says on the tin (and a little bit more). We serve hot chocolate to the kids off the estate, and they can play pool, table tennis, table football, guitar hero, dance mat, etc. Its a manic two hours, but I can see how God is blessing the kids on this estate. I’ve also been trounced at table tennis and table football for several weeks now, but I do fare slightly better when it comes to Guitar Hero...

Monday
Mondays begins with the 9am staff meeting at Church, followed by our intern meeting, and various admin tasks that need to be taken care of. Once a month we’ll have staff breakfast (bacon rolls last Monday; they were delicious) and we’ll fellowship together for a bit longer than usual. Never thought I’d be part of a staff meeting – it’s like I’ve suddenly become an adult!

Once a month (though soon to be fortnightly) I spend Monday afternoon taking part in the Love a Granny (and Gramps) project. A team of us will head into two local old people’s homes and run a service for the residents, and spend time chatting with them. Last time, us new interns were introduced to the residents and asked to talk about ourselves a little bit. The result? They want to hear me play my violin for them! Eek! They are all absolutely wonderful people, and to spend time worshipping with them, getting to know them and just generally being a friend to them is an amazing opportunity. God’s really blessing them all, and I feel blessed being able to meet them.

Tuesday
We run a lunchtime CU in a local school on Tuesdays, and it’s the one project where all of us work together. The kids at St Teilo’s are absolutely brilliant (if a little crazy sometimes, but then I can’t really comment, can I?) and so eager to learn about God. There are roughly thirty kids or so in each session we do (years 7-8 first session, years 9-11 second session), and we play a couple of silly games with them (Sion did the cream cracker challenge yesterday and almost vomited trying to beat one of the kids!), and do a bit of worship and teaching. Mr. Sellers, the RS teacher, lets us use his classroom and brings doughtnuts/cookies/brownies each week and is a fantastic support. I’m down for teaching next week with Rhi (one of the other interns), which I’m slightly nervous about... (hint: that was a cheeky prayer request!)

On Tuesday afternoons, I head down to the Gate Arts Centre (run by Glenwood Faith Community) to help out with a club for local unchurched kids. Every week is different at the club, and local people come in to do different things. The first week was street dance (epic fail for me!), then we had African drumming (it was AMAZING), after that a DJ workshop and some artwork (I was covered in paint. Literally covered.) and then yesterday we had a drama workshop in which I was an old lady on a bench who had her sweets stolen. It’s great fun, and the kids are amazing to work with – they’re so funny and cheeky.

Wednesday
In the morning I have prayer and study time – time to spend worshipping and chatting with God, and also catching up on the work I need to do for the various projects I’m involved in and for the training days on Thursdays.
Early afternoon on Wednesday I meet with my mentor and we go to a local cafe/bar to meet and chat about how things are going. My mentor Caroline is absolutely lovely (she and her family had me over for lunch last Sunday; it was delicious) and we have quite a few common interests too (books, lots of them!)

Wednesday evenings are very hectic. Early evening I help out with G-Pod, a sort of Rockclimbers (only without the gunge) for unchurched kids off the estate. We are currently trying to get through the entire book of Mark in eleven weeks – quite a challenge! My favourite part of G-Pod is ‘Rockstage’ – the memory verse set to the tune of a hit from the charts. This term its Mark 10:45 to One Direction!

Immediately after G-Pod is Small Group, where we eat and chat and look at a passage from the Bible together. It’s fantastic to be meeting with others from church, getting to know them and praying together.

Thursday
Thursday is Training Day (yes, the capitals letters are necessary; it is that important!) for the interns. We’ll worship together, interview someone from Glenwood Faith Community about their testimony, and then get stuck into the Bible. We’re currently working our way through the Old Testament – tomorrow is Abraham and Moses – and I’m learning so much more. We’ve been challenged to look for Jesus throughout the Old Testament, and it seems stupidly obvious now that I’m looking for it!

In the afternoon is track training – most of the interns are on the youthwork track; I’m on the creative track – where we look at developing our gifts and using them to reach others that we meet. I’m hoping to do a lot of writing and acting as part of this, so I better make sure my pencil and paper are at the ready!

In the evenings, I head over to one of the partner churches to help out with N:Gage and N:Counta, a kids’ group based on the Girl’s Brigade curriculum (but boys can come too). We’re looking at courage and the life of Paul at the moment, and I was simply covered in mod-rock last week as part of the artwork they were doing! I love that despite the age range (7-17 year olds!) all of them connect with what they’re doing and get something out of it. They’re a really fantastic group of kids.

Friday
On Friday I have the dreaded General Service (joking). Others are involved in admin tasks, or cleaning, etc., but I have the wonderful task of helping to produce Going Public’s newsletter! It mostly involves chasing people up to get their articles to me in time, and willing emails to appear in my inbox...

In the afternoon, I help out with Youth Band. Last week I had a quick tutorial in how to do sound, and it is now mildly less confusing than it was before... (I won’t be doing it on a Sunday anytime soon!) I also often take the girls out to learn the songs without the rest of the band. This coming Sunday the youth band are leading worship, and I’m looking forward to seeing them there. There’s just something special about young people worshipping – leading worship – and this group in particular just have something about them.

Saturday
Sleep? Shopping? Reading?
My day off. Phew!

So that’s my typical week.

Exhausted? I am!

But it is absolutely incredible, and I’m loving every moment of it – so far. I have no doubt that there will days in the weeks to come where I will be absolutely fed up with everything and want nothing more than to go home and be pampered by my parents... but God has blessed me immeasurably here in Cardiff, and it is through Him and His strength that I can carry on.

Now glory be to God! By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. May He be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages. Amen. (Ephesians 3.20-21)

Before I love you and leave you, two more things.
You may remember that last time I mentioned that I hadn’t yet got lost? And that pride comes before a fall?
I got lost.
I caught the wrong bus and ended up about a mile from where I needed to be and had to walk back, hoping I was heading in the right direction...

Also, I now support Wales in the Rugby World Cup. Even if England had won and were facing Wales in the semis, I’d still decide to support Wales. It would be almost suicidal to support England here in Cardiff...

One last bit of wisdom: never run in heels.

Thank you so much for your support and prayers.

Blessings,

Debs xxx

goingpublic.org.uk

Greetings from the Wilds of Wales (...aka Cardiff!)

(written Wednesday 14th September 2011)

Hello all!

This is my first post from sunny(?!) Cardiff!

No, Clive, I have not yet been to the Millenium Stadium to watch the rugby. The Welsh team just happen to be in New Zealand at the moment for a little tournament you may have heard of...

Day three, here in Cardiff, and I've been quite busy this week already! We've been through the compulsory team building games and get-to-know-you on Monday, and gotten soaked yesterday morning hunting around Cardiff city centre for the most random things in the world (the most hideous pair of shoes you could find and model, the world's smallest lovespoon, our favourite thing in the Lego shop... on and on the list went!) But its been brilliant so far - lush, to use a phrase common here in Wales! I'd like to think that our scavenger hunt in the city means I know Cardiff better than I did before, but I'm not all that sure...! My sense of direction is not wonderful, but I haven't gotten lost just yet!

Of course, pride comes before a fall...


We, the interns (there's eight of us in total), had the wonderful privilege of meeting some absolute legends yesterday afternoon. On Tuesdays, there is a service held for the over fifties, by the over fifties - though most of them are over 80! They all wanted to meet us, as they do with the new interns every year, and they were all lovely. They share lunch together beforehand, and then Windsor (he's 83) leads them in worship and teaches for a short while. They are all still so active and close to God - it was incredible to be able to share that time with them, and to know that they are actively praying for us and behind us in everything that we do.

Afterwards, they had tea and biscuits, and we got to chat with some of them for a while. I met a lovely lady called Alice, who is still going strong at the age of 97 ("My secret is I don't drink and I don't smoke."), and two cracking ladies called Eileen and Iris who are hilariously funny - they remind me of how my Grandad was with some of the ladies at his church; they were wonderfully cheeky!

Today, we've taken care of some of the necessary admin tasks, and I had the privilege to meet some of the people we will be working with at one of the partner churches. In that church, I will be helping out with some of their clubs (N:Gage and N:Counta) aimed at their local school kids - it sounds absolutely crazy and insanely good fun. I can't wait to start next week!

Tomorrow marks the first training day... does that sound ominous to you? Cue ominous-sounding music.


Just chilling this evening - Rhi and Jo are cooking bangers and mash for dinner - and possibly playing Bananagrams...

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

(Psalm 23:5-6)

I'm seeing my Father's goodness and love in my life right now. I am blessed to be here at Going Public with the other interns, and I am honoured to be learning alongside and from the people here.

Cheesy as it sounds... God bless.

Debs
xxx

goingpublic.org.uk